To Anne, and Robin, and Meditation

Anne, you had me at abyss,
of which he dove into,
their love affair lasted 63 years.
She flirted with him long ago,
sucking at indecision
and timidity,
her devouring femininity,
so attractive in the way
she whispered,
“come with me.”

If you close your eyes and listen close,
there is a sound.
Beyond the sound,
there is a nothingness.
Beyond their eyes and words,
nothingness.
A void of emptiness,
of which our lives orbit around,
elongated, stretched, circular,
we must surrender or
get swallowed.

Brothers and sisters,
there is so much noise, but it’s
not all encroaching.
Listen to me, please hear my voice,
because we comprise the symphony.
I beg you, embrace the stillness,
the chaos, the unknown. Become
friends with it, become friends with the
sirens and the voices and the
deeply entrenched pattern of danger, violence.
It can be dark, but we are here for you.
I am here for you.

Close your eyes.
Count 10 deep breaths.
Feel the subtle energy of your body,
rise and fall with the inhale.
When your mind wanders,
practice bringing it back,
to the moment, to your body.
Find your sadness.
Feel it come up within you.
Maybe you visualize it.
Maybe you feel it lodged in your heart,
or your throat,
or your hips.
Feel it. Do not go on until you do.
Relax into it, with your breath,
with your intention,
with every ounce of purpose
you can muster.
If you’re really sad, imagine
doing this to another, to
someone you wish you had the energy to love,
imaginary or not.
If you’re still too sad,
maybe smoke a joint before you try.
See the sadness, really feel it,
notice how your body feels on sadness.
Notice where it hurts.
Cry if you need to.
Spit if you need to.
Ask yourself,
Is this experience random?
Did someone outside of me force me to have this experience?
Is this a learned response that I developed a long time ago?
Feel the wisdom of the last question.
Realize you can see it differently.
Realize it comes from within you.
Realize by feeling it differently now, changing the quality of this
moment, you can practice daily, in your life, to bring
a different reaction, to pave a new path,
to embracing the void with courage
and joy.
Really feel it in your body,
to let go of grief.
Feel it. Do not go on until you do.
Enjoy the letting go.
It is said that only an empty vessel can be filled.
Empty yourself to start over.
Start over.
Keep starting over.
Hold it in your heart center, this joy,
this wish that we will all walk each other
Home
or
On.
You are not alone.
You are never alone.
We are orbiting.
Bow to yourself.
When you’re ready, you can open your eyes.

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Where there is Sometimes Space to Contemplate beyond Suffering

We will question the reality of

my laundry

melting into the bathroom tile

and the rock collage

on walks from home

/an IMAX feature of perception.

 

This is new access

to the matrices of time

where there is space to

consider atoms

are everything and falling

apart and re-assembling

is merely truth.

 

What does it look like right now?

What will it look like tomorrow?

Could you fathom your body

made up of the fabric of space?

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Creativity Like a Virus

There is pre-birth tickling the edges,

like an infection that needs to spread,

through the translator which

appears like an almost-ready portal

to the next dimension.

 

I’ll teach you this: When something is bothering you, find the area and practice releasing the strained muscles, the furrowed eyebrows. Practice giving it your attention.

              Attention if you feel that love is too subjective.

 

Where are you in space?

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An Apology

It’s been too long

since I was strong

enough to say,

“this is feeling”

instead of flying 

off the handle.

It’s been too long,

since I was steady

and giving.

It’s been too long

since my gaze has

been serene and

focused, dropped

into the depth of being

instead of frantic

to match my thoughts.

It’s been too long,

since I showed you 

that I love you, because

I’ve been escaping me.

And it’s been too long

since I have met you

in your suffering, and

given you equanimous 

space.

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A Prostration to the Human Condition

I have “messed up” so many times, I bore myself

with apologizes and I look up at the sky and laugh,

for I am not sorry anymore. I will not apologize 

any longer.

I will be honest to my emotions,

and if I mess up, I know you will be there to reflect

ugliness my way, and this is why the religion of

the Human Condition is superior. 

I will tell my truth and connect with those 

who subscribe to authenticity.

I will heed my desires with reason,

unless I cannot, and I will forgive myself

for making mistakes, for being imperfect.

I will not laugh awkwardly and look around when

I trip or fart, I will carry on. 

I will speak my poetry out loud because

that is the language I know how to communicate.

I will offend and praise and embarrass and love

and live shamelessly. I will grow old(er) and keep

my eyes open and my stress down. 

I will try, to the best of my ability, and that 

includes laziness. I will sleep longer than I should

when I need to. And I will question love and life

and death and think too much and eat too much and 

drink too much and dance too much and hurt myself

and kiss too hard, or too much.

I pray to the boundaries and the edges that I have yet to find,

and I will declare them here! As poetry!

And hello!

Let’s hold hands.

 

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Curly People Tendrils

Like spaghetti, 

I eat too much when

I stare too long, 

desiring what is 

not mine to keep.

What story am I 

committed to?

And what causes

preference?

Specific to the day.

I am so jealous

of those who know.

Do they really know?

Do they really know?

Curly People tendrils,

you fall flat, little

quantum waves,

I am destined,

and cursed,

to be an Observer.

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