Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
It doesn’t hurt anymore, my cramping uterus causing:
Hiding in the corner,”I won’t ever be able to have children. I’m a child. I’m selfish. I only have one ovary.”
It doesn’t hurt anymore, looking in the mirror causing:
“I’m growing old so fast. My hair is falling out. My legs are horrible, handfuls.”
It doesn’t hurt anymore, looking at you causing:
“You hate me. You are only speaking to me because there’s nobody else. And you find me intriguing, but I’ll tell you a secret. I only appear to be intriguing because I don’t know how to be myself.”
She held my hand in the horror-house the other night, it was a “dream” but who’s to say? I was walking alone and she touched me, which melted the boundary of me and the world. They were being slaughtered, but she told me to focus inside. And I closed my eyes and let myself melt into her warmth, and her strength causing no thoughts, just a peace that dissolved my separateness. As I continued to fall away, she kissed me and left me there, with the darkness enfolding.
It doesn’t hurt anymore. And I am stronger than this. And I am stronger than believing it’s me and the world. And I am stronger than the need to be noticed. And strength is me. And I am strength.
And looking in the mirror, causing:
A reflection. Beyond.