(Too Much) Space


What does it mean to die?

I will not know until I know.

They claim to know, but I cannot tell.

Until I can.

I promise you here I will tell you what I know

when I find out.

It will be an intimate moment between you and I,

as intimate as the Observer and me. 

Because I have come to accept these ways I am,

my dance with experience is unique.

I may only attract a few, but that is

of no consequence to me. 

Here, I will tell those of you who want to know,

something very personal.

 

I feel very close to death. 

It is not too surprising considering the words I read,

and therefore see.

Choices and trivialities make me sick to my stomach,

and I forget to breathe.

It takes much strength to come back and care,

to worry about what keeps me here,

my goals and my loves and reasons

to put one foot ahead of the other. 

You keep me grounded, 

by asking me questions and telling me

about yourself, authentically.

Music keeps me grounded,

and yoga, so that my body is awake.

Creativity keeps me balanced,

a spirit in a body,

could I not translate my soul into words without

precious fingertips? 

Giving life to an otherworldly language like

roots that make up a tree. 

 

When does a life come to fruition?

When is the process complete?

I feel too young to be at this realization,

have I gone too deep? 

 

So I sip another drink with you,

and talk about the sky and the moon,

and just laugh, because simplicity

is a lesson I need to learn. 

 

There is beauty in depth, but I fear too

deep I’ve gone, as if there is such a thing,

too much,

colliding with boundaries, flirting with edges,

going beyond where I have been before.

Does it always happen so fast?

Is it this fast for you?

 

I sit with those who speak as my soul reflection,

and we become infinite, the space between atoms

distancing further. Who is me and who is you? 

To what edge does my body end?

What constitutes a body?

 

He was cute, and he told me with a smirk,

pull back from there, do not go so far,

and I am increasingly surprised there are those 

who have travelled too far, along with me,

and I urge you, if you read this, be with me,

here or there, 

wherever you happen to be.

 

 

 

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