An Apology

It’s been too long

since I was strong

enough to say,

“this is feeling”

instead of flying 

off the handle.

It’s been too long,

since I was steady

and giving.

It’s been too long

since my gaze has

been serene and

focused, dropped

into the depth of being

instead of frantic

to match my thoughts.

It’s been too long,

since I showed you 

that I love you, because

I’ve been escaping me.

And it’s been too long

since I have met you

in your suffering, and

given you equanimous 

space.

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