To Anne, and Robin, and Meditation

Anne, you had me at abyss,
of which he dove into,
their love affair lasted 63 years.
She flirted with him long ago,
sucking at indecision
and timidity,
her devouring femininity,
so attractive in the way
she whispered,
“come with me.”

If you close your eyes and listen close,
there is a sound.
Beyond the sound,
there is a nothingness.
Beyond their eyes and words,
nothingness.
A void of emptiness,
of which our lives orbit around,
elongated, stretched, circular,
we must surrender or
get swallowed.

Brothers and sisters,
there is so much noise, but it’s
not all encroaching.
Listen to me, please hear my voice,
because we comprise the symphony.
I beg you, embrace the stillness,
the chaos, the unknown. Become
friends with it, become friends with the
sirens and the voices and the
deeply entrenched pattern of danger, violence.
It can be dark, but we are here for you.
I am here for you.

Close your eyes.
Count 10 deep breaths.
Feel the subtle energy of your body,
rise and fall with the inhale.
When your mind wanders,
practice bringing it back,
to the moment, to your body.
Find your sadness.
Feel it come up within you.
Maybe you visualize it.
Maybe you feel it lodged in your heart,
or your throat,
or your hips.
Feel it. Do not go on until you do.
Relax into it, with your breath,
with your intention,
with every ounce of purpose
you can muster.
If you’re really sad, imagine
doing this to another, to
someone you wish you had the energy to love,
imaginary or not.
If you’re still too sad,
maybe smoke a joint before you try.
See the sadness, really feel it,
notice how your body feels on sadness.
Notice where it hurts.
Cry if you need to.
Spit if you need to.
Ask yourself,
Is this experience random?
Did someone outside of me force me to have this experience?
Is this a learned response that I developed a long time ago?
Feel the wisdom of the last question.
Realize you can see it differently.
Realize it comes from within you.
Realize by feeling it differently now, changing the quality of this
moment, you can practice daily, in your life, to bring
a different reaction, to pave a new path,
to embracing the void with courage
and joy.
Really feel it in your body,
to let go of grief.
Feel it. Do not go on until you do.
Enjoy the letting go.
It is said that only an empty vessel can be filled.
Empty yourself to start over.
Start over.
Keep starting over.
Hold it in your heart center, this joy,
this wish that we will all walk each other
Home
or
On.
You are not alone.
You are never alone.
We are orbiting.
Bow to yourself.
When you’re ready, you can open your eyes.

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