Say what you mean;mean you what Say

Can words ever reclaim their ability to be uttered? To be something so needed to be said, a soliloquy sized burp forms in the amorphous ether? Can I translate to you the utmost desire, with the words that ride as sailboats on the ocean of sight? We cannot reclaim the words, I fear and I pray, because words are puzzles without edges, and they are the ashes from the fire, the skin that’s been shed. I am falling down a slippery slope of love; it’s too moist here to get up, too good to be true. Words have turned into Truth only as fingertips on flesh or breath on my neck. I feared the lessening distance between me and you. Feeling you in words was safer. I used to sing to you from the shore. But I fear I must express,

my deepest interest.

I don’t speak best with words, but when I use them, I want to touch you everywhere.

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Awake and too full for sleeping on the night of the day we begin the Descent. I think of you, my Starhawk, my lover and creation who accepts so easily the status of flow and the gifts~ that we are magic, separated only by the thin veil of form. I’ve given you what I have~ I’m excited to know how much more you’ll get from me. I dream about the warmth in your escape, and worry you will leave. Will you wait for me? You’re a heavenly gift. Christ, my angel. I hope to see you again. I’ve dreamt of you for a long time. Can you handle my love? Only time will tell. Only fear keeps me fromJumping. But with you, at least the fall will be scenic and I have a chance at something I considered impossible before. I’ve thought about you as a father. I’ve thought about waking up with you, and our wedding. Above all, as I lie in bed awake on the night of the descent, I get back to what you represent~ the miraculous in seemingly mundane. I worry about leaving. Decisions make our future. This is my soul path. But I think maybe you hold the key to my life. Please stay.

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A Manual

Keep my heart

soft,

let me love

easy

as wind on

blades of grass.

Your devotion

sets

me

in

motion.

Love me

unconditionally,

pray

to

“make it last”.

I will give to you

my sacred honey

to your bees,

’cause you only

want to please.

Give me everything

I need, and I will

give you everything

you never knew

you always wanted.

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