And the next right thing is…

Some people hear pronouns as loud as glass shattering in a quiet room, words so heavy they have their own moment where everything else is sacrificed.

Some people are some people that get to know other some people. Why does everything change when I look over my shoulder?

Is it important when you know something about quantum physics to exist in a state of pure potential, to eliminate choices and decisions? As a people, we seem to be anti-matter.

Coagulation and solidification are so repulsive to us we destroy each other.

It is only nature after all.

Is there a somebody that is an exception to this experience?

But you can’t make homes out of human beings, right?

Am I already the one who can only swim with others for a little while? Until the current shifts…

Why is it that the things I prioritize in life leave me all alone?

I am specialized.

I am my own lover.

No one can hang.

I drew an oracle card last night, on the new moon, after I consecrated my dream pillow to ask for guidance, that was entitled “leap of faith”. And this is the message I keep receiving…that the energy I seek is beyond my comfort zone. What does that mean for me? Commitment is beyond my comfort zone. Going deep with another.

My dreams were laced with idiosyncratic symbols…like I’d been searching the cosmos for an answer that was experienced as pure chaos. That feels right.

Pure chaos.

Because we are infinitely creative in a world that has no sense of judgment beyond the value systems we were raised in. We are, in an ultimate cosmic sense, non-judgmental. My teacher has a bumper sticker that reads, “Non-judgement day is near.”

It is in my blood to break free. Is it cowardice or bravery to stand still?

Just as the cosmos have no sense of right or wrong, there cannot be a right or wrong in an objective sense, for me and my life choices. Can I be further on the edge?

I have tried. I get there all the way and find myself riddled with fear and regret, like Job wandering the Earth for eternity.

There is such thing as going too far. But there’s always salvation. Because choices do not exist in a vacuum~  polarity does. The second we solidify, there is exists the opposite. When chaos reigns unimpeded, there is no opposite. Everything is fluid. Should we learn to swim?

It always comes down to putting one foot in front of the other.

Cheers

 

 

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